It seems these days I always have my nose in either a homeschooling or parenting book. I know that I am not going to find the "perfect" answer to being a parent of two super smart kiddos, but something drives me to keep looking for answers to the issues I deal with every day.
I remember how excited Mavster was to begin first grade, and how within a few short weeks he was shutting down and hated school. We pulled him out of the private school and went to our public school who had an awesome teacher willing to work with him. It was a net positive making that move, but he went from having to be silent all day to a school where the rules weren't so strict and he had to work on his self control. He was soon labeled a troublemaker to some extent, although his teacher did a great job of staying positive. The skip to 3rd grade was necessary last year - Mavster was already bored and unchallenged in his grade level, and to put him in a classroom that would be all review for the next year seemed like a recipe for trouble. Moving him up a grade, we thought, would challenge him and hopefully keep him interested & focused. His grades were fantastic, but socially, it was hard for him with kids teasing him, a bully, and generally being in trouble more than the average student. I am not sure what it was about 3rd grade, but the majority of the students were simply not motivated at all to work, and Mavster did the minimum necessary to get by.
I have just finished reading "Boys Adrift" which suggests there are 5 main reasons behind the general lack of motivation we are seeing in boys these days:
1) School - kids are learning in Kindergarten what they used to learn in 1st grade - and many boys are not ready to sit still when they are five and they learn to dislike school right away when they are always in trouble. Also, there is a lack of experiential play in schools. For example, students are show photos of the life cycle of a frog instead of getting to play with real frogs and watching tadpoles turn into frogs.
2) Video Games - most specifically, violent video games. Boys (generally) want to be in charge of their environment. Video games give that feeling but without the real life situations/consequences. There is an negative correlation between how much time students play video games and how well they do in school. With all of the instant gratification, patience is being lost. The part of the brain controlling will power and motivation actually shrinks over time as video games are played. In previous generations, boys would be out hunting and fishing for hours...
3) Medications for ADHD - boys who have taken the stimulant medications in their childhood are found to be less motivated as adults.
4) Endocrine Disruptors - Plastics and pesticides that mimic estrogens causing early puberty in girls, and later puberty in boys.
5) Lack of positive male role models & lack of rites of passage to manhood
These issues can all be addressed - no violent video games and limiting others, more time outside, no ADHD meds (which are often used to fix the student instead of the school), eating organic, minimizing "bad" plastics, restoring the bond between generations by spending time with male role models. More time spent with just males (all-male schools were highly recommended in the book).
For us, our biggest change right now is the move to homeschooling our son. Not everyone can afford to do it, or wants to, but for us, it has been great so far. We are spending more time outdoors just playing and exploring, and will be able to hang out with kids of all ages, who treat our son with respect and appreciate him for who he is. The overall feeling of less anxiety in our son's life is priceless. He is smiling a lot more, and having more patience (at least a little so far).
I know we will rekindle that love for learning and find his motivation!
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